Yaak Attack

I’ve lost track of how many days I’ve been out here hiking and even what day of the week it is, but who really cares about day specifics when you’re unemployed and homeless? Oh what a life it is on trail. Most of the stories I’ll be telling this round are from a small radius, from Fish Lakes Camp to the town of Yaak. Days have blurred together, mostly because I have no use for remembering the day and because the intensity of the hiking one day to the next never gets easier. I’ve noticed my mental stability weakens greatly when we hit the 3rd or 4th 2,000ft or more climb of the day. One or two climbs? Sure. More than that though, and my mind starts to shut down. Anywho, to Fish Lakes Camp we go. My first impression of this campsite was not good. As we approached, we saw a lovely, hand built log table. On the table though, we saw an empty clip from a gun and more mouse poop than I was comfortable with. We looked to the left and saw one of the saddest attempts at a lean-to I’ve ever seen and a partly shredded sleeping bag with an empty bear spray canister laying next to it. My mind, as it always does, immediately went to the two worst case scenarios it could think. The first scenario involved a giant grizzly bear viciously attacking an innocent human and dragging the body away having had no reaction to the bear spray being released in its face. There was no blood or sign of a fight, so my mind got rid of that option. Clearly the only other explanation was a psycho serial killer smothering the camper and dragging the body away. Needless to say, I did not feel safe. This was our only camping option, though so I had to be brave and stick it out. We ate dinner, hung our food (more so for the mice than the vicious killer bear), and went to bed. In the morning I woke up, glanced at my trekking pole located a few inches from my face and saw that the handle had been nibbled to bits by a small rodent. I was definitely irritated about my trekking pole and glad we had hung our food, but when I saw the nibble holes through the bottom of my pack, I was angry. The holes weren’t substantial enough for something to fall through, but it’s my brand new pack that Wes had made me. I was angry and ready for revenge. I headed out beyond camp to dig myself a cat hole for a morning poo when I saw a perfectly sized, already dug hole. It was potentially the home to the rodent that had chewed up my belongings. A light bulb flicked on in my head and I nearly released my bowels into that rodents home, but with a little thought, I decided to be the bigger person and dig my own hole… right next to the entrance is the rodent’s home. It wasn’t total revenge, but it would have to do. We packed up camp and headed to Yaak, leaving the murder scene behind us. Approaching Yaak, we knew there were two bars and mercantile, so we had to choose wisely. The bars were called The Yak Tavern and Dirty Shame. Wanting to feed out grumbling bellies, we had to decide which bar to go to. The Yaak Tavern had a huge outdoor porch overlooking the river and they had free WiFi. The Dirty Shame had a marquee out front advertising “Female Cream Wrestling Saturday August 25th.” Needless to say, we had a wonderful evening at the Yaak Tavern drinking beer and talking with the bar tender. No worries though, we went to The Dirty Shame the next day, sat next to a giant Trump cardboard cutout, were served food underneath a confederate flag, and overheard conversations about wanting to bring back public hangings. To each their own I suppose. The bar tender from the Yaak Tavern ended up having camping facilities for people coming through town. $15 a night to sleep in a yard with a pit toilet and an outdoor shower. Seemed a little steep to us, but we were tired and she was incredibly nice. It turned out to be well worth our $15. The pit toilet was the nicest I’ve ever seen and the shower had endless hot water, views of the sky, and was stocked with towels, soap, and shampoo. That alone made it worth it. As we contemplated packing up and heading out on the excruciatingly long highway walk the best morning, the bartender walked by and told us that just a few yards down was an outdoor kitchen stocked with breakfast foods and assorted appliances. Not only was the kitchen right next to the river, there were dogs running around and a giant TV…. with cable. Wes and I found ourselves totally engrossed in watching Sharknado 3 on SyFy with the two hikers we’d met our first day on trail. All four of us were freshly showered, gorging ourselves on grilled vegetables fresh from the garden, unable to look away from the cheesy wonderfulness that is Sharknado. The countdown in the corner of the TV was quickly ticking away to the release of Sharknado 6. Who even knew there were that many Sharknado movies?! For sure not me, but I had been sucked in. Do we stay in Yaak another night to see the premiere of this bound to be horrible movie? This lodging place did go by the name Shameless Oasis…. The debate was real, but we shook our heads rapidly and blinked our eyes a few times and were free from the trance of the television. That evening and next morning were filled with walking along a highway, desperate for a hitch (or bitch as I had texted my mom) to avoid a 50+ mile road walk into Bonner’s Ferry, which is where I am now, sitting in the public library mooching their WiFi and air conditioning. From here we go to the Mexican restaurant across the street for margaritas and guacamole and wait for the trail angel we met earlier to get off work and give us a ride to the trail head.

There’s a bushwhack ahead that we’ve been warned about, so be glad you’re at work while we spend 7 hours walking 5 miles.

“Turtle starts with A,” -a little boy in the library successfully learning how to read.

We crossed the Idaho border! Not on trail as we had liked, but still neat.

A fire lookout with less views than the previous one. The sun was on point though.

The trail was right next to us. The tracks were more fun.

Oh Yaak, you were yetti-tastic.

The half-asses lean-to I mentioned above. Not much for protection against anything.

A nice view.

The one and only Dirty Shame.

Having spent far too long at this excellent swimming hole, we only hiked a 13 mile day.

Jusy another fire lookout. This one was unlocked. We ate our lunch inside to avoid the wind and then noticed the signs that said “not maintained for public use” and the inspection notice that said “major deficiencies.” Oops. We didn’t die though, so that’s good.

This is how Wes feels about highway walks.

I don’t tell lies.